Harry Reid's Hit Movies!

We discussed our esteemed vice president and attorney general last week.  So this week, the SACSTW Entertainment department brings you the biggest blockbusters of senate majority leader "Dingy" Harry Reid's illustrious career.  Hopefully, you didn't suffer as much through them as we did...

Over the years, Harry got a bigger gun and a bigger pay day!

Harry joined in an unholy partnership with Princess Pelosi.  No, I'm not insinuating Princess Pelosi is the love interest as an orangutan.  You people have sick minds!  She plays the Sandra Locke character...

Finally, they bring our Dear Leader into the picture...

As the poster says, hopefully this all ends in November 2012 and Harry is left all alone as senate minority leader.  (I realize that Harry Reid is not up for reelection in 2012, but his partners in crime are.)

Monday Musings With The Crew

Let's dive right in to this post-holiday edition of MM.......

• The national media continues its attempts to keep Barack Obama from appearing to be an inane self aggrandizer, sort of.  In his recent interview with 60 minutes on CBS, Obama claimed to be the 4th best president, right behind Johnson (LBJ not Andrew), Lincoln, and FDR.  CBS did not air that portion of the interview on the broadcast, but did post the interview in its entirety on its website.  Check this out...

There are so many things wrong with this I really don't know where to start.  First off, how about mentioning LBJ and Lincoln in the same sentence.  Although, I suppose they did both get us into a civil war.  Unfortunately, LBJ's was in Vietnam.  Now if Obama thinks he is only behind those 3 Presidents, then he puts himself ahead of such slackers as Washington, Jefferson, Madison, Truman, Kennedy, and Reagan.  Really, the ego of this guy is just remarkable.  What great foreign policy and legislative achievements is he talking about?  

Thank God the TSA was on the ball... think of the mayhem
this could have caused mid-flight!

• Earlier this month, TSA screeners in Norfolk, Virginia pulled a teenage girl out of line for interrogation due to the gun she was carrying.  Well, to be honest she wasn't carrying a gun.  She was carrying a purse.  A Western-style purse.  With an image of a revolver on the side of it.  Seriously.  Here is the purse......   

• This was the scene last week at an Indiana mall......

No, those shoppers were not trampling each other and tearing doors from hinges to escape a crazed gunman, poison gas, or marauding grizzly bears.  They were breaking IN to the mall to buy $180 sneakers.  Guess what many of them will be doing next November?  That's right, voting for President of the United States.  God help us.

Gender Bending Shocker in Congress!

All this time, we thought that Congressman Frank (D-MA) pronounced his first name "Bawney" due to his Boston area accent.  New evidence this week suggests that perhaps the congressman has been pronouncing his actual first name, "Bonnie", correctly from the start.

If "his" first name is Bonnie, and "he" has a sexual preference for men, could "he" maybe in fact be...."she"?

 I know, I know, you think the Crew has finally gone off the rails for good with this one.  Not so fast, my tinfoil hat brethren!  I mentioned new evidence that has recently been, ahem, revealed about Congressman Frank.  Let's go directly to the floor of the U.S. House of Representatives..................

Female First Name-  Check
Sexual Preference for Men- Check
Great Rack- Check

Ah Winnie,
 the stories you could tell!

For months, DNA researchers at SACSTW have been working around the clock to solve this mystery once and for all.  Using samples obtained from the Congressional cloakroom, our scientists have determined that Congressman Frank is the illegitimate daughter of Winston Churchill and Aunt Bea.  Other reports have suggested that Congressman Frank was named in honor of Aunt Beas's OTHER secret lover, Deputy Barney Fife.  These reports remain unsubstantiated at presstime.

Sorry Barney, I just had to have a little more fun with you before you sail off into the sunset.  I love you man!  Well, I don't love you like that you know.....I mean geez.....not that there's anything wrong with that......aw forget it.  Nice moobs.

The Race Card Is The Real "Last Refuge of a Scoundrel"

Here is a quiz brought to you by the Obama administration.....

Which of the following issues is the real reason that Obama Attorney General Eric Holder is under fire from the right?  Choose all that apply.

1. Holder's involvement in the Clinton Admininistration's last minute pardon of Democrat contributor and fugitive tax evader Marc Rich.
2. Holder recommended clemency for 16 members of the terrorist organizations FALN and Machateros as Clinton's Deputy Attorney General in 1999.
3. In 2008, Holder urged the Supreme Court to uphold the unconstitutional Washington DC handgun ban in D.C. v Heller, claiming that the Second Amendment does not protect an individual's right to keep and bear arms outside of a state run militia.
4. Holder gave a speech on February 18th, 2009 in which he proclaimed "the United States is a nation of cowards" when it comes to racial relations.
5. In May of 2009, Holder declined to pursue the case against members of the New Black Panther Party for voter intimidation during the 2008 election, citing "a lack of evidence".  (personal note-  please, oh please let the New Black Panther Party show up at my polling place in November of 2012)
6. In November of 2009, Holder announced plans to bring 9/11 conspirators to New York for trial in the U.S. criminal court system.
7. Agents of Mr. Holder's Department of Justice supplied weapons to drug traffickers, weapons that have been used in hundreds of violent crimes, including the December 2010 murder of U.S. Border Patrol Agent Brian Terry.
8. He's sueing the state of Arizona because they dare to try and take action against the overwhelming flood of illegal immigration that the Obama Administration has failed to address.
9. He opposes any attempts to reduce voter fraud through voter ID measures.
10. He's black.

Let's let Attorney General Holder give us the answer, from a Sunday NY Times article by Charlie Savage...

In the interview, Mr. Holder offered a glimpse of how he viewed the criticism. He said he thought some critics — like Senator Lindsey Graham, a South Carolina Republican who favors allowing the military to handle terrorism suspects over the criminal justice system — are expressing “good faith” arguments about their policy disagreements.

But Mr. Holder contended that many of his other critics — not only elected Republicans but also a broader universe of conservative commentators and bloggers — were instead playing “Washington gotcha” games, portraying them as frequently “conflating things, conveniently leaving some stuff out, construing things to make it seem not quite what it was” to paint him and other department figures in the worst possible light.

Of that group of critics, Mr. Holder said he believed that a few — the “more extreme segment” — were motivated by animus against Mr. Obama and that he served as a stand-in for him. “This is a way to get at the president because of the way I can be identified with him,” he said, “both due to the nature of our relationship and, you know, the fact that we’re both African-American.”  (emphasis is mine)

Is it Stedman, is it the Attorney General?
  I don't think even Oprah  knows for sure!

Yep, you're right Mr. Holder.  All us crackers out here would be just fine with items 1-9 on the above list, if only you were white.  In the fine tradition of Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, and Cornel West, Attorney General Holder is carving out a place of his own in the race-baiter hall of fame.  Do us all a favor, resign your office immediately and go back to just squiring Oprah around town.

This Guy is Really our Vice President?

Joe pulling another gem from his brain

While or president is preparing to vacation (at a 4 million dollar taxpayer expense) in Asia (Hawaii, the 58th or 59th state), the attention of Sahib and Crew turns to our esteemed vice president and quote machine, Joe Biden.

After his most recent pearl of wisdom, "The Taliban per se is not our enemy", I have only one question.  Are you kidding me!?  OK, make that two questions.  How did anyone vote for a presidential ticket that included this moron?  I mourn the lack of logic and reason in this country.  This guy is a heart-beat from the presidency!  The libs were nervous about the possibility of Dan Quayle becoming president?  Dan Quayle is Winston Churchill compared to this guy.

To give our lib friends a comparison they might understand, take the craziest pieces of Ross Perot and Ron Paul, mix in the moral laxness of Spiro Agnew, and add the combined intelligence of Maxine Waters and a box of rocks.  The results would be something slightly less disturbing than Joe Biden.  Just in case you have forgotten, here are a few Joe Biden "highlights":

• His unabashed plagiarism of Prime Minister candidate Neil Kinnock's entire life along with speeches from Robert Kennedy and Hubert Humphrey.
• "Our next president... Barack America!"
• "Stand up Chuck, let em see ya!"  to Senator Chuck Graham who is in a wheelchair.
• "Look, John's plan does nothing to tackle the number-one job facing the middle-class, and it happens to be, as Barack say, a three-letter word, jobs. J O B S, jobs" 
• His assertion that if the president's latest "jobs" plan wasn't passed that there would be an increase in rapes and murders.
• "When the stock market crashed, Franklin D. Roosevelt got on the television and didn't just talk about the, you know, the princes of greed. He said, 'Look, here's what happened." 
• "You cannot go to a 7-11 or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent.... I'm not joking."
• And of course, the aforementioned "The Taliban per se is not our enemy."

Come on America!  You know better and we can DO better than this next year.  In 2012, lets kick our Dear Leader and his court jester to the curb.

Monday Musings With The Crew

Another addition to the "List of Tyrants who have croaked
 since SACSTW came on the scene"

Kim Part 3 looks like the voice of reason,
doesn't he?

• Not only is Kim Jong ill, he's dead.  After continuing his father's legacy of brutality and oppression for 17 years, the ruler of North Korea has died.  Reports indicate he suffered a heart attack on Dec. 17th, and died shortly therafter. The designated successor is Kim Jong il's son, Kim Jong Un.   In a gesture surely meant to reassure neighboring South Korea that regime change will be peaceful and non-threatening, North Korea test-fired short range missiles off its eastern coast yesterday.  I feel better already!  

• Here's another story about good samaritans paying off layaway accounts for holiday shoppers.  Thanks to Sahib for bringing this story to the attention of the SACSTW community.

• The Green Bay Packers dreams of an undefeated season and their 19 game winning streak died on the turf at Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City.  Fourteen point underdogs going in to the game, the KC Chiefs authored the biggest upset of the NFL season with the assistance of an actual NFL coach and a professional quarterback.  

• By now you have heard that the National Transportation and Safety Board (NTSB) has called for a nationwide ban on all usage of "portable electronic devices" while driving.  Specifically aimed at cell phones, this ban would include texting, voice calling, and even use of hands-free equipment.  While the Crew agrees that distracted driving is a threat to us all, this falls under the category of "you can't fix stupid" (with apologies to Ron White).  Look for bans of other driving distractions to soon follow, mascara, Egg McMuffins, billboards for strip clubs, and daredevil squirrels.  By the way, how would this ban affect those who are actually driving a "portable electronic device"?  Both Chevy Volt owners want to know.  For more information on distracted driving, readers are directed to P.J. O'Rourke's classic essay "How to Drive Fast on Drugs While Getting Your Wing-Wang Squeezed and Not Spill Your Drink!".

• Merry ChristmaHanuKwanzakah to all!

Operation Santa's Sleigh-Away

Join Sahib and the Crew in Operation Santa's Sleigh-Away! According to a Washington Post article anonymous Santas are paying off layaway items at K-Mart and other chain stores this Christmastime.  Stores in Nebraska, Michigan, Montana, Iowa, Missouri, and Indiana are reporting people have been paying down toys and items for young children that their parents have placed on layaway.

Devoted readers, we all can make a difference this year at Christmas no matter how small or how large a contribution you can make.  According to Karl Graff the assistant K-Mart manager in Omaha, one woman broke into tears when he called her to tell her about the help. "She wasn't sure she was going to be able to pay off their layaway and was afraid their kids weren't going to have anything for Christmas."  Graff said, "You know, 50 bucks may not sound like a lot, but I tell you what, at the right time, it may as well be million dollars for some people."

Last week I saw first-hand how big an impact small efforts can make.  A program in which I participate built and gave away 27 bicycles to local Boys and Girls Club programs.  The looks in the children's eyes as they were wheeling their bikes to the bus was something I'll never forget.

We have a week left before Christmas!  If you can, go down to your local K-Mart, Wal-Mart, Target, or any other store that has a layaway program.  Ask about layaway items that have toys or items for children and offer to pay down the layaway.  One caveat, ask about the store policy before completely paying off items.  You may want to pay it down to a couple of dollars so that it is not closed out.

We can make a difference!  Please help if you can and share this with your friends and family.  Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you and yours from Sahib and the Crew!

The Company You Keep......

One way to evaluate a President is by examining those he surrounds himself with, those he turns to for counsel, those he goes out of his way to support.  Let's turn that lens towards Barack Hussein Obama.

In March 2010, Jon Corzine became the CEO of MF Global, one of those gigantic brokerage firms that all the Moonbats were squawking about before it got cold outside.  20 months later, on Oct.31 2011, MF Global filed the 8th largest bankruptcy in U.S. history.  Oh and by the way, under Corzine's leadership approximately 1.2 billion dollars belonging to MF Global clients mysteriously "disappeared" after being comingled with company funds in violation of federal law.  At his recent appearance before Congress on the matter, Corzine meekly mumbled "I don't know what happened to the money".  

I bet the name Corzine is starting to ring some bells, right?  Didn't he used to be some big shot Democrat politician you ask?  Why yes Grasshopper, you are correct.  A former U.S. Senator (D-NJ) and former governor of New Jersey, Corzine was swept out of office in 2009 by Republican Chris Christie.  So, after driving the state of New Jersey into the ditch (literally), Corzine's brilliance led MF Global into ignominious bankruptcy and Congressional hearings within 20 months.  

What in the world does this have to do with Dear Leader?  I think I'll just let the administration speak for itself......

Ok, Ok, that is just a President working to keep a Democrat governor in office.  That doesn't mean Obama thinks Corzine is all that, right?   Not so fast ......

Is there any wonder that Dear Leader and his merry band of progressives has no idea how to get the U.S. economy back on track?  I wonder if any of the MF Global customers that lost over a billion dollars under Corzine's stewardship would agree that he is "the smartest guy in terms of the economy and finance".  Barack Hussein Obama and the company he keeps has driven our country to the very brink of disaster.  Time for a grown up to take the wheel.  Let's just pray it's not too late.

President Barack Ospama, Internet Stalker

You know folks, when Sahib and I started SACSTW 4 months ago, I worried that finding enough stories that inspired a blog post might be tough.  Yeah, not so much.  The Obama administration is the gift that just keeps giving.  

Since you are reading an internet blog, I'm guessing you are familiar with a little thing called email spam.  All of us  find our inboxes and spam folders choked to the gills with unwanted and unsolicited emails, now the most powerful man on the planet is piling on.

The 2012 Obama campaign is spooling up their online donation push at barackobama.com.  Should you feel compelled to make an online donation, you will be confronted with this little gem on the President's website:

Who inspires you to give?

This holiday season, we're giving you a chance to have a little fun at the expense of a Republican in your life by letting them know they inspired you to make a donation to the Obama campaign.

Simply enter their name and email address below. Then, we'll send them a message letting them know they inspired you to donate. (Don't worry—we won't hold on to any of their information.)

Thank you for supporting this campaign, and happy holidays.

That's right freedom lovers,  Barack Ospama wants donors to give your email address to his campaign, so he can prank you with a snarky, unwanted, and unsolicited email.  Very dignified and fitting for the man who occupies the office of Washington, Jefferson, and Lincoln.  But have no fear conspiracy theorists, Ospama promises not to hold on to any of your information.  All of you who believe that, please turn your tinfoil hat in at the door.  It's painfully obvious that our president is nothing but a spiteful and petulant child, thumbing his nose and shouting "nana nana booboo" at those who disagree with his policies.  It's pathetic and disgusting. 

Barack Hussein Obama Mexican Border Crossing

I guess Mel Brooks was prescient!

Maybe we could use the money to fund some new government program!

Monday Musings With The Crew

Once more, into the breech......

• How bad are the Kansas City Chiefs?  Try this little experiment.  Stand up.  Take 5 long steps.  You have now traveled further than the Kansas City offense did in the entire first half yesterday against the New York Jets.  LATE BREAKING UPDATE:  Minutes after this post was published, the Chiefs fired head coach Todd Haley.  The influence of SACSTW knows no bounds!

I'm guessing he's Spanky

• Al Sharpton's not-for-profit (insert smirk here) National Action Network is in serious financial trouble.  NAN owes over $880,000 in federal payroll taxes.  They also owe over $200,000 to one of Sharpton's for profit firms, Bo-Spanky Consulting.  Let me write that again..... Bo-Spanky Consulting. Almost as much fun to write as it is to say.  I am calling for an immediate investigation into the true leadership of this consulting firm, anything named Bo-Spanky has to have Barney Frank involved somehow.  

Sorry little fella, don't take it personally

• The Patriot Freedom Alliance is the Tea Party organization in Hutchinson, Kansas.  They have run afoul of the race card in the last few days.  A cartoon (since removed) on their website compared a skunk to Barack Obama, saying that like the President, the skunk is "half-black, half-white, and everything it does stinks".  The local NAACP predictably termed the cartoon as racist and offensive.  The Crew wonders how much longer an organization with the words "Colored People" in its title will be allowed to be the arbiter of racism.  Actually, I agree that the cartoon was offensive and degrading.... to skunks.

• Looks like the Obama administration is deadly serious about securing our southern border.  After all, why else would the federal government open an unmanned border crossing point?  That is exactly what they want to do in Big Bend National Park so the residents of the tiny Mexican town of Boquillas del Carmen don't have to travel the 240 miles to the nearest legal entry point.  Here is how it will work..... note that this requires a significant suspension of disbelief!  Border crossers using the "kiosk" will scan their documents in and talk to a Customs officer who will be at least 100 miles away.  Attention Dear Leader, kiosks are for selling sunglasses in the mall.  Gun towers and German Shepherds are for border crossings.

• A large Christmas light display has a neighbor angry, calling the display "psychological warfare".  No, this doesn't involve U.S. public schools, state courthouses, or any of the other places Christmas lights usually run afoul of the left.  This time, it's Kim Jong-il and his merry band of North Korean gangsters protesting a South Korean Christmas light display about 2 miles from the border with North Korea.  North Korea's official website decried the display as "a mean attempt for psychological warfare", and threatened retaliatory gunfire if the lights are actually switched on.  Geez, who knew?  All that angst about North Korea's military build-up and all we had to do was string up some pretty lights!

Chuck Woolery: Don't Cut Critical Programs!

Great patriot Chuck Woolery examines government programs we just can't afford to cut!  We have to keep those Chinese hookers sober! Required viewing...



If not chairman of the Fed, how about Newt's Chief of Staff?

Weekend Musings with the Crew

With apologies to Jack Handey, it's time for another edition of Weekend Musings....

• A multi-car pileup on a Japanese expressway involved 8 Ferraris, 1 Lamborghini, and several Mercedes, resulting in the most costly car accident of all time.  What is still not clear is why so many Democratic congressmen were driving together along the Japanese highway.  

• NBC breathlessly announced that Madonna would provide the halftime entertainment at the Super Bowl.  Scientists at NBC parent company GE are hard at work on the time machine that will be required to transport Super Bowl viewers back 15 years to when Madonna was relevant.  The Crew expects a significant "wardrobe malfunction" as part of the hoopla.

• A 7 year old Boston boy is being charged with sexual harassment after he allegedly punched another boy in the groin.  His mother claims he acted in self defense after the other boy choked him while they were on the school bus.  As any of us males who have received such a sack tap can attest, there is nothing sexual about it.  In a related story, a 9 year old North Carolina student was suspended for sexual harassment as well.  His dastardly deed..... calling his teacher "cute".  Now, when I was 9, had I called my teacher cute I would not have been suspended for sexual harassment.  Rather, I would have been immediately referred to the local optometrist for a thorough vision evaluation.  Now, had I used the phrase "gnarly old hag".........

• A high school principal in New York is under fire for this picture that was posted on her Facebook page.....the principal is the one on the right.   :))

Oh those wacky school administrators!

Chuck Woolery: A Great Patriot!

Chuck assists Sahib and the Crew in their mission to Save the World!



When Newt is president, my vote is Chuck Woolery for Chairman of the Fed!

A Long, Thoughtful Look Back At The First 100 Days

SACSTW recently oberved its 100th day of existence.  During the first few days, Sahib and I wondered if the two of us would be the only readers.  As of today, SACSTW has reached thousands of readers spread across 24 countries and 5 continents.  From Latvia to Brazil, Norway to Australia, SACSTW is spreading across the globe like a Justin Bieber Youtube video.  Sahib and I are proud of what SACSTW has become, and I am most proud that it took over 100 days for Justin Bieber to be mentioned in these pages! (I (Sahib) am most proud that we haven't done one 10,000th of the damage to the country that our Dear Leader did in his first 100 days.)

Sahib and I are political junkies, but what we love even more is humor.  We hope you have laughed along with us as we lampoon and parody our way through the political landscape of Obamerica.  Remember, even in the silliest of satire there are lessons to be learned, points to be made.  All opinions are welcome here, share yours with the world by commenting on the blog, or email us at SACSTW@gmail.com.  Most of all continue to be a part of the SACSTW community by visiting regularly and telling your friends about the great time to be had at Sahib and the Crew Save The World!

 

Monitor This Governor Brownback!

NEWS RELEASE-NEWS RELEASE-NEWS RELEASE

Kansas Department of Child Indoctrination (Education)

Governor’s Ministry of Adolescent Oversight-Internet Bureau

The KDCI/GMAO is pleased to announce today that it has uncovered and foiled a nefarious plot to disparage and ridicule Dear Governor Brownback.  The scheme was hatched at the Shawnee Mission East High School chapter of the KDCI and spearheaded by Student-Citizen Emma Sullivan.  At a Youth In Government meeting in the glorious capitol city of Topeka,  Student-Citizen Sullivan willfully and without regard for Dear Governor’s feelings sent the following Tweet…”Just made mean comments at gov. brownback and told him he sucked, in person #heblowsalot”. 


Fortunately for Dear Governor, the Tweet Detection Section of the Ministry of Adolescent Oversight immediately sprang into action.  The offending Student-Citizen was verbally corrected by SME Principal Karl Krawitz in his office for approximately one hour.  She was advised that her Tweet had embarrassed the SME chapter of KDCI Bureau 512, and “damage control” was needed with the office of Dear Governor.  Principal-Minister Krawitz is instructing Sullivan on the proper points to cover in her written apology to Dear Governor.  Leaders of the Kansas Department of Child Indoctrination are pleased that this vicious attack on Dear Governor was so promptly detected and effective counter-measures so quickly deployed.  KDCI is expected to award Sherienne Jones-Sontag, director of the Governor’s Ministry of Adolescent Oversight, with the prestigious Orwell Award for excellence in citizen monitoring. 


SACSTW Analysis:

The sanitized version of this story appeared on the front page of the Kansas City Star on Thanksgiving Day.  The student involved is an 18 year old, self-described liberal senior at Shawnee Mission East High School.  Although her tweet claimed she had made comments directly to Governor Brownback, no such verbal comments were made.  Let’s get a few points straight here:


   1.  Governor Sam Brownback is a conservative Republican

   2.  The Crew is a conservative Republican


   3.  Emma Sullivan is a liberal student  at Shawnee Mission       East High School


   4.  The Crew is a conservative graduate of Shawnee Mission East High School


   5.  Sam Brownback sucks


Freedom-loving Kansans of all political stripes should be horrified and disgusted that Sam Brownback is spending their tax monies (OPM) monitoring the internet for nasty comments about himself.  Here is a sentence from the Star story that is one the most chilling things I have ever read:

Brownback’s director of communication wasn’t amused when the tweet was spotted during the routine daily monitoring of comments on Twitter and Facebook mentioning the governor’s name.

 Guess what Governor Brownback?  I’m not amused that you have state employees conducting “routine daily monitoring” of the Internet for people making snarky comments about you.  Perhaps you should re-familiarize yourself with the First Amendment.  Yeah, yeah, I know.  The First Amendment was written to apply to the federal government.  Still, I’d like to think that you as a former U.S. Senator would agree with the quaint little principle of free speech.

I am guessing that as a 47 year old male conservative, I disagree with about 99.9% of what an 18 year old liberal female says.  What I do agree with is her right to voice her opinion, even if her opinion is that a male conservative “sucks”.  As an SME grad, I am truly embarrassed by the school principal’s heavy-handed response, and Principal Karl Krawitz should be the one apologizing.  By the way, why do I have this slightly queasy, uneasy feeling about guys named Carl who spell their name with a “K”?  But I digress.  The student (a legal adult by the way) committed no crime, and threatened no violence.  She expressed a POLITICAL opinion to which the state of Kansas and the Shawnee Mission East High School principal took exception.  That my friends is a very slippery slope indeed.  I attended class in the Shawnee Mission School District from kindergarten through high school.  I have long thought it to be one of the very finest public school districts in the country, and have resisted the concept that public schools are indeed “Departments of Indoctrination”.  Now I am not so sure.  It is a sad day for this Shawnee Mission East Lancer. 

As always we would love your comments on this issue below!  Or send them to SACSTW@gmail.com.

Palestinian State? Just Say No!

The whole world seems to think a Palestinian state is just a hunky dory idea.  WRONG!

Don't believe me?  Follow along with me in this alternate US History lesson:

• 1776 -  UN creates the United States consisting of modern day states of Oregon, Nevada, Idaho, Utah, Montana, Wyoming, Colorado, and New Mexico.  The US declares statehood.  The next day, Canada, Mexico, Great Britain, Japan, and France declare war on the US. 
• 1778 - The US kicks everyone's butt.  The world is pissed.
• 1812 - Canada, Mexico, and Great Britain declare war on the US again.
• 1814 - The US kicks butt again, but this time says to the world "screw you!" and takes California, Washington, and everything east of the Mississippi to the eastern seaboard.  The world is pissed again.
• 1848 - The people living on the eastern seaboard and in California decide they need their own country too.  Nobody listens or cares.
• 1850 - Canada and Mexico launch a surprise attack on the US on Christmas day. The US drives to Mexico City.  The world is pissed and says "Stop!"  Inexplicably the US does.
• 1870 - The US gives everything back to Mexico in exchange for a promise that we won't kick their butts again.  The people of the eastern seaboard and California start shooting at us with cannons and sending donkey carts loaded with TNT to blow up our towns, schools, and churches.  The world cheers.
• 1871 to 2008 - The world decides that we are horrible people because we take umbrage that the people of the eastern seaboard and California continue to murder our citizens.
• 2008 to Present - The US says "OK, if you stop shooting cannon balls at us and sending donkey carts loaded with TNT to blow up our towns, schools, and churches, we'll agree to you having your own country."  
• What do you think the US should do?

Let's get a couple of things straight:  

1. The rest of the Arab world doesn't give a diddly squat about the Palestinians. They hate Jews and by extension, Israel.  The Arab world cared nothing of the "Palestinian" people until Israel kept kicking their asses every time they attacked Israel. The Palestinians are a convenient excuse to distract the Arab people from their ruling despots.
2. There are no "Palestinian" people.  In the history of the world, there has never been a Palestine. They are people who lived in "Trans-Jordan", the 75% of the Palestine Mandate carved out for the "Palestinian" people.  Something conveniently forgotten by the world and the lefties in the US. 

The moral of this story is that there will be no peace in the Middle East until Israel no longer exists.  Israel can make concession after concession, but as long as they control one square foot of land in the Middle East, there will be no peace.  If you believe otherwise, you are delusional or intentionally obtuse.

Justin Timberlake versus Suffolk University Law School

A couple interesting and conflicting viewpoints on the U.S. military surfaced in the last few days.

 First up is former Mousketeer and current actor/singer/superstar Justin Timberlake.  By now you probably know the story.  Last summer 23 year old Marine Cpl. Kelsey De Santis posted a Youtube video asking Timberlake to attend the Marine Corps Ball in November.  Not only did Timberlake accept the invitation, he held up his end of the agreement and attended the ball with Cpl. De Santis in Washington, DC last week.  While De Santis and her Corps colleagues were understandably stoked about the superstar's attendance, Timberlake's thoughts on the evening were remarkable and inspiring.  On his website, Timberlake posted a beautifully written article about his experience.  In part he said this: 

“It was a surreal moment to be in that room with so many of our great Marines who have such a different type of connection to those stories. One that we who don’t serve will NEVER understand. It was familial. It was like they were listening to their own blood brothers. I glanced around the room at young men and women, spouses and soldiers… At kids way beyond their years, really… All so deeply entwined. Not just by battle, even though we who have never endured anything remotely close to those experiences and have NO position to comment on… But, by having such life changing experiences through them and to not ever waver in their love and respect for our homeland. That’s what I saw. A faith in us that has been tested time and time again. And, through it all, NEVER a drop of doubt.”

Please go to Timberlake's website to read the entire post.  I for one am not predisposed to appreciate boy band singers, but Justin Timberlake has grown up just fine.  As anyone who has seen his musical shorts with Andy Samberg knows, Timberlake is not just a great singer, but hysterically funny as well.  Mega-talented, self-deprecating, and greatly appreciative of the freedoms and opportunities afforded by our great country, Timberlake is the real deal.  Bravo Justin!

Next up is Suffolk University (Mass.) Law School professor Michael Avery.  Avery responded to a campus wide drive for care packages to send to overseas troops this way in an email:   I think it is shameful that it is perceived as legitimate to solicit in an academic institution for support for men and women who have gone overseas to kill other human beings

This is what your tuition payments are going for parents!  Professor Avery and his secular-progressive, anti-America colleagues are spoon feeding their vitriol to your kids on your dime.  Guess what the result is?  Moonbat city!

Professor Avery, you should be on your knees every night giving thanks that there are people like Corporal De Santis willing to put their life on the line to protect you and your liberal cronies from the evildoers in our world.  You sir, are the very definition of shameful.  How does it feel to be outclassed as a man by a Mouseketeer?

Let me know what you think about this at SACSTW@gmail.com

Email Sahib and the Crew!

Dear reader,
We at SACSTW greatly value input and feedback from our readers.  You can share those thoughts with the entire SACSTW community by commenting on posts, now you can also email us at SACSTW@gmail.com.   We would like to hear how you found SACSTW, where you are located, any topics you would like to see covered, jokes, gripes, rants, etc.  We need readers in Africa, so heck, we would even welcome a couple Nigerian scam emails!  Thanks for your continued interest in SACSTW!

San Fran Judge: US Flag Equivalent to Confederate Flag

OK

Not OK

According to Chief U.S. District Judge James Ware in the People’s Republic of San Francisco, wearing an American flag in an AMERICAN high school is racially incendiary and thus is not protected by the first amendment.

For those of you not familiar with the story, several “Anglo” students wore shirts with American flags on them on Cinco de Mayo.  They were threatened with suspension and sent home when they refused to change.  This was supposedly to protect them from the “Mexican-American” students.  (The use of Anglo and Mexican-American qualifiers was the judge’s, not mine.) Here is a link to the original story on Fox News.  My favorite quote from the original story was this doozy,  “Freshman Laura Ponce, who had a Mexican flag painted on her face and chest, told the Morgan Hill Times that Cinco de Mayo is the ‘only day’ Mexican-American students can show their national pride.”   I would respectfully suggest to Miss Ponce, that as a “Mexican-American”, you would show your “national pride” by painting an American flag on your face and chest.

Back to what is sure to be a hallmark of jurisprudence, Judge Ware’s decision…

As reported by the San Francisco Chronicle, the lawsuit filed by the students “accused school officials of violating the standard that the Supreme Court set in 1969 when it upheld students' right to wear black armbands to class, in a silent protest against the Vietnam War, and said schools can suppress student expression only when it threatens to disrupt the educational process.”  But Judge Ware had a response; he said “post-1969 rulings by federal courts have deferred to school officials' conclusions that certain types of student expression could endanger the speakers - for example, decisions by three appellate courts upholding bans on the Confederate flag in schools with histories of racial tension.”  So according to Judge Ware, wearing an American flag in the People’s Republic of California is as racially incendiary as wearing a Confederate flag in the south.

After reading this, I thought that surely this high school must be located in an East LA barrio.  Maybe school officials made the correct decision. I did some quick research on this “racially charged” high school and community.

Here is the information I found.  I’ll let you decide if this high school is located in East LA.

Live Oak High School Sports (not a complete listing):

• Cross Country
• Football
• Basketball
• Field Hockey
• Golf
• Tennis
• Volleyball
• Water polo
• Badminton
• Rugby

Morgan Hill, California demographic information:

• Population – 38,547
• Median household income - $95,968 ($37,000 above the state average)
• Median house or condo value:  $647,883 ($265,000 above the state average)
• Mean price for free-standing homes:  $835,769

Wow!  With the pressure of running from water polo practice to your next badminton match, how did poor little Laura Ponce find the energy to paint her face and chest?  Her hair stylist must have done it for her.

So, the moral of the story devoted readers is this:  Your first amendment rights will be upheld as long as you are a threat to trample the first amendment rights of others.  If you are a peaceful, patriotic, law-abiding student, you have no first amendment rights, because the people you might offend might be violent.

I Fought For You: Required Viewing

Sahib and The Crew would like to thank all members of the military past and present for your service and sacrifice for our country and all our families. I (Sahib) would particularly like to thank my grandfather (WWI - Battle of Belleau Wood veteran), my wife's grandfather (WWII - Normandy Invasion veteran), my father (Vietnam), my father in-law, and my friends Carla, David, Jason, Michelle, Phil, Scott, Scott R., Steve I., and Steve M. Oh, and I almost forgot BalmerLiberal. Your service is appreciated more than you know.

 Please take a few minutes and watch this wonderful video in honor of all our veterans.

Added by the Crew:
Thanks to Sahib for this great Veterans Day tribute.  People all over the world, not just here at home, owe their freedoms to the American soldier.  From Poland to Kuwait, tens of millions live in freedom as a result of the bravery and sacrifice of America's military.  I would like to thank the veterans in my life, starting with my late father and father-in-law.  Brothers-in-law Rick, Mark, and Aric.  Niece Amanda.  Friends Carl, Kris, Chris, Robert, Roger, Howard, Verne, and John.  Many clients too numerous too mention....thanks to you all!

Occupy Protests Get Philosophy from Soviet Propaganda

Now we know where the "enlightened ones" of the Occupy Protests have gotten their political platform!  You would think they could have come up with something better than 30 year old Soviet propaganda.

Obama Hates Occupy Wall Street

OWS or Tea Party?

President Obama and his minions of insufficient light hate the Occupy protests.  More accurately, they hate the protesters.  Obama, Biden, Reid, Pelosi, Wasserman-Schultz, et al. will never admit it, but believe me, they hate the Occupy protesters.  Oh they smile for the media and talk about how they “support” the protesters, but they secretly wish someone would detonate a giant Raid bug-bomb on the whole group. 

You may ask, “Sahib, how can that be true?  These protesters represent the left’s voting base.  How can their political leaders hate them?”  Elementary my dear readers, who wants an unwashed, undisciplined, incoherent, bat-shit crazy group of people promoting their agenda?  As much as Obama and his MSM drones love to bag on the Tea Party movement, they would give their eye-teeth to have the Tea Party people backing Obama’s socialist platform.  I mean come on; who would you prefer backing your cause?  Mr. and Mrs. Joe America with their two bright-eyed apple-cheeked children or a bunch of unwashed mosh pit rejects?

For example, I think it is safe to say that most evangelical Christians are not big proponents of homosexual causes.  How do you think they feel when they see that idiot from Topeka, Fred Phelps, and his loony family protesting at a fallen soldier’s funeral? “Go get ‘em Freddy!?”  Heck no, they realize his hatred and vitriol tarnishes the image of anyone who opposes the GLBT agenda.  It’s guilt by association.  The same goes for the Occupato Mafia and their support for a socialistic nirvana here in the good old USA.  Crazy people are bad for your message.

As exposed by SACSTW’s crack staff last week, Karl Rove’s plan was ingenious.  Like Obama and his cronies, King Karl understands that elections hinge on swaying the 10-15% of independent voters to your side.  Karl was just helping the left with their sales pitch.  Fortunately for the supporters of truth, justice, and the American way, there isn’t much Obama can do but sit and stew about it.

Jihad Me Elmo!

Well the U.S. government is at it again in Pakistan.  You remember the last little adventure we had in that pseudo-ally nation.  Seal Team 6 was the messenger and delivered the brass verdict to Osama.......

Apparently some folks on Dear Leader's management team have recently advised Obama that he has "got to stop whacking Muslims", and get back to bowing and scraping across the globe.  In a SACSTW exclusive, the Crew has obtained photos of this secret meeting...

 And voila!  In the spirit of the $16 dollar muffin, the U.S. taxpayer is shelling out $20,000,000 (that's 20 million for all you Kansas City school district alumni out there) to send a new ambassador to Pakistan........

Sesame Street Islamabad kicks off later this month with everybody's favorite red monster Elmo and a young Pakistani girl named Rani as the stars of the show.  Other characters include a crocodile named Haseen O Jameel.  The Crew admits to being unaware of the apparently large Irish-Pakistani population.

This is what happens when you spend Other People's Money.  First it's $16 dollar muffins, then it's 20 million dollar Muppet junkets to the Mideast. 

In related breaking news this morning, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney is out and will be replaced by 

It remains to be seen if the White House press pool notices the change.

An Open Letter to BalmerLiberal

World War II Memorial - sans plaque

Artist rendering of WWII Memorial with plaque

This open letter is a response to a lively Twitter discussion that occurred earlier today.

Dear BalmerLiberal-ParkyBill (or Moonbat Bill as the Crew and I affectionately refer to him),

I hate herky-jerky conversations on Twitter or texting, so I thought I would write you this letter.  I retweeted a post about the Obama administration's objections to a plaque with FDR's D-day prayer being added to the World War II memorial in Washington DC.  I did so without editorial comment.

Here was our exchange:
MBB:  "Why must fools throw Jesus at everything? Your own faith not enough for you?"
Sahib:  I was somewhat taken back by the apparent vitriol of your comment.  I responded with, "Have you READ the prayer? No mention of Jesus I could find."
MBB:  "Nope. Haven't read it. No reason to."
Sahib:  "Are you familiar with the historical significance of the prayer?"
Sahib:   "Do we need to scour the MLK memorial for mentions of God too?"
MBB:  "Wasn't MLK's first name 'The Reverend'?"
MBB:  "Did the designers of the memorial ask for it to be there?"
Sahib:  "So memorials can never be modified?  The original FDR memorial is the size of a desk."
MBB:  "Was the FDR memorial modified after it was built?"
Sahib:  "You could say that."
MBB:  "That was neither a yes or no.  Was FDR monument modified AFTER it was built?"
Sahib:  (Pulling your chain) "Sort of."

After this, you either had to go or were done with me.  As is the wont of you and you lib brethren, when losing a debate, you change the focus of the debate.  We began with religious implications and then switched to the concept that memorials and monuments, once dedicated, are inviolate and prohibited from modification.

In the interest of brevity, I will jump right to the most emotionally charged of all memorials, the Vietnam War Memorial.  Guess what?  It has been modified THREE times since its original dedication in 1982.  All by different designers than the original memorial.  And guess what else Bill?  The last modification was.... wait for it.... a PLAQUE!

Come on Bill, we both know the issue here.  It is because it's (GASP!) a prayer.  If it was simply FDR's D-day address, not a single one of you on the left would have batted an eye.

I hope you and your wonderful wife have a great weekend!

Your friend,
Sahib

PS. In the interest of full disclosure, there are actually two FDR memorials.  To my knowledge the original has never been modified, but it has been replaced.  FDR never wanted a big memorial.  He said he wanted nothing bigger than his desk and the original memorial honored his wishes.

Karl Rove is the Occupy Protest Mastermind!

SACSTW has unearthed a plot so cunning, so diabolical, that Machiavelli himself would have been proud.  Karl Rove is the mastermind behind the Occupy Wall Street protest movement.  Undercover SACSTW reporters have obtained a secret recording of the planning and implementation meeting held in King Karl’s secret underground bunker.  (Built by non-union construction workers.)  The following is the transcription of the recording:

April 1, 2011 10:43:02 EDT

King Karl:  I am sick and tired of all the crap that the Tea Party people are getting from the media and the left.

 Minion #1:  Yeah and why do the American people keep buying the “big government is the answer” lies from the Obama and his all commie chorus?

Minion #2:  We need a plan to show the American people the foolishness of socialism and how the Tea Party supporters are hard working patriotic Americans who want the best for everyone. 

King Karl:  Any ideas?

Minion #1:  We could let Obama, Harry Reid, and Debbie Wasserman Schultz keep talking…

King Karl:  You would think that would work, but it’s taking too long. 

Minion #2:  We could start a big ad campaign denouncing socialist policies and supporting hard work and personal responsibility.

Minion #1:  The mainstream media wouldn’t cover it.

King Karl:  Wait a minute…. I have an idea. (Sinister chuckle)  What if we let the lefty moonbats and media do the work for us?  We send some operatives undercover into the bowels of the liberal bastions to sow the seeds of a protest.  We play on their paranoia and public school brainwashing.  We feed their insecurities and inherent laziness.  We plant slogans like, “Greedy People Suck!”, “Banks have all the money, give us some!”, and “I don’t want to repay my student loans!” If that doesn’t work, they can use the magic words…. “Free weed!”  Send them someplace like Wall Street to protest.  The lib media will eat it up.  The dem politicos will have to back them because they ARE the democrats’ voting base.  The American people will see what a bunch of whack jobs occupy the left.  It could be my biggest triumph!  Hmmmm, whack jobs, occupy, Wall Street….

Minion #2:  I don’t know boss.  Not even the lib media is dumb enough to fall for that.

King Karl:  Three words.  Olbernamm, Maddow, Krugman.

Minion #2:   Point taken.

Minion #1:  To which liberal bastions should we send our operatives? 

King Karl:  Oh, East Village coffee houses, the NYU student union, methadone clinics.  You know, the usual.  We can’t start right away.  Our operatives will require some rigorous training.  Besides, we want the protests to have time to really start ramping up about the time the weather starts getting really nasty.  Begin say, mid-September? What should we call them by the way?

Minion #2:  Karl’s Kommandos?

King Karl:  Too commie.

Minion #1:  Rove’s Raiders?

King Karl:  I like it!  It has kind of a corporate raider flair.  That goes perfectly with the name I have for the protests… Occupy Wall Street.

End of transcription

At this point the SACSTW reporter’s recording device failed, but he was able to provide us with before and after pictures of Rove’s Raiders.  According to SACSTW reporters, the training was a strict regimen of vegan diet, bi-weekly bathing, Michael Moore "documentaries", and heavy doses of marijuana. 

Before: 

Rove's Raiders prior to training

After:

Rove's Raiders after training

Stay tuned to SACSTW for the latest updates to this fast-breaking story!

Chart of the Day- OWS is not exactly like the Tea Party....

Scariest Movies of all time...

Happy Halloween!

I know everyone does a scariest movies of all time list this time of year, but I thought I would include some of mine.

• The Shining - Jack Nicholson's face shoved through the bathroom door was pretty scary.  Shelley Duvall's face.... even scarier.
• A Nightmare on Elm Street - The series got dumb fast, but the scene where Freddy was dragging the knives down the alley walls was super creepy.
• The Thing (1982) - The dread of not knowing who's the monster was like someone pressing on my chest. Nice doggy!  
• Alien - "Hey what's for dinner?"  Nuff said... Aliens was a great movie too, but not as scary.
• Poltergeist - "They're hereeee!"
• The Blair Witch Project - I watched it in an almost empty theater with no one sitting near me.  The final scene creeped me out like no movie had in a long time.
• Halloween - Best use of a musical score in a horror movie ever.  John Carpenter makes my list twice. He wrote the score.
• Rosemary's Baby - One of the best final scenes ever.
• Event Horizon - This one doesn't make nearly as many lists as the others, but I thought it was the scariest for me.  I dare any of you to watch this one alone in the dark.  Think Alien without any aliens.

Now devoted readers, I am sure you are all screaming about what's missing from the list. (I'm not talking about Psycho, which while good didn't scare me like the others on the list.)  I'm sure you all are thinking or yelling, "Where is 'The Exorcist'?"  The answer is simple.  I've never been able to watch it.  I've tried once or twice, but could never make it more than 15 or 20 minutes.  I guess that probably makes it the scariest movie of all time for me, but I can't really say for sure.  I've never made it half-way through.

Have a fun, safe, and happy Halloween!