Study Shows Half of New Grads are Morons

Nice piercings!  Can I hire you as CEO of my company?

A recent study shows that more than half of recent college graduates are certifiable morons. OK, that's not really what the study said, but it should have.  An article on MSNBC.com refers to a 2011 Current Population study done by Northeastern University that states 53.6% of recent college graduates are jobless or "underemployed".  I submit that my evaluation of the situation is the more accurate one.

Exhibit A:  Michael Bledsoe (Pictured above)

"I don't even know what I'm looking for," says Michael Bledsoe, who described months of fruitless job searches as he served customers at a Seattle coffeehouse. The 23-year-old graduated in 2010 with a"....?

A.  Degree in Mechanical Engineering
B.  Degree in Computer Science
C.  Degree in Creative Writing
E.  Degree in Education  

If you answered anything but "C", you must have gotten your degree in Creative Writing just like Michael.  Not only did young master Bledsoe pick a worthless degree, but he augments his white collar employability  with his choice of body piercings.  (Is that an OWS protest sign I see in the background?)  Maybe he has a nice neck tattoo that might distract potential employers from his nose ring.

The problem is not the job market.  It's that so many morons are looking for jobs.

"Bledsoe, currently making just above minimum wage, says he got financial help from his parents to help pay off student loans. He is now mulling whether to go to graduate school, seeing few other options to advance his career. 'There is not much out there, it seems,' he said."

Oh goody!  Glad he saw the error of his ways.  His lack of an advanced degree in Creative Writing is what is holding him back from finding one of those six figure jobs right out of college.  His neck tattoo should read MORON.

Now I may have offended some people reading this by tossing around the word moron. (Definitely no devoted SACSTW readers, but maybe a stray lib or two who has stumbled onto our blog.)  If I have.... GOOD!  Guess what?  Michael Bledsoe's parents should get MORON neck tattoos as well.

This is what demoralizes me to my very soul.  Michael Bledsoe's parents never instilled an awareness of personal responsibility in him.  He honestly doesn't realize that his situation is the result of his POOR CHOICES.  It's a problem with the job market and evil corporations.  The university didn't provide him with the proper employment assistance. (Well, I guess they really didn't help by offering a Creative Writing degree to begin with.)  Millionaires refuse to pay their fair share in taxes.  And when all else fails, it was George W. Bush's fault.  It is inconceivable to him that he bears any blame for his plight.  A large portion of the blame for his blissful unawareness falls on his parents.  But not all of it.

At some point, people with bad or moronic parents need to take a stand and say, "My parents sucked, but I am responsible for what I do and how I behave."  They need to have that epiphanous moment where they realize, "Gee, majoring in Creative Writing was really stupid!" and "Wow, maybe if I lose the nose ring, employers might take me more seriously."


And the so-called "experts" are so much help:

Andrew Sum, director of the Center for Labor Market Studies at Northeastern University who analyzed the numbers, said many people with a bachelor's degree face a double whammy of rising tuition and poor job outcomes. "Simply put, we're failing kids coming out of college," he said, emphasizing that when it comes to jobs, a college major can make all the difference.

Well, Andrew got it half right.  When it comes to jobs, the college major makes all the difference.  He's wrong about "failing kids coming out of college".  We're failing them BEFORE they even start college.

Parents please, do not raise morons.  Teach your children to think critically.  Teach them poor choices have consequences. Otherwise, you could end up with your very own Michael Bledsoe.   Living in your basement.  Until he's 40.