Want Mrs. Obama's Autograph? Papers Please!

EDICT-EDICT-EDICT

Federal Bureau of (citizen) Identification

Department of Glorious Hypocrisy

Obama Book-Signing Protocol

All citizens wishing to have Her Highness Michele I autograph their book at the event on June 12 shall follow   Protocol 17B explicitly.  To wit:

• Said citizen must purchase a copy of the book at the host store.
• Said copy must be left at the store until the event on June 12
• Said citizen must also provide their Social Security number and an OFFICIAL photo identification (driver's license or passport) to the Secret Service at the time of the book purchase.
• Said citizen's life history will then be reviewed, and if deemed worthy of Her Highness's autograph, the citizen shall then be issued a wristband allowing entry into the June 12 event

• The recommended configuration (CheckPoint Charlie template) of citizen entry into the vicinity of Her Highness is depicted below.

EDICT ADDENDUM:   All government officials must be aware that Book Signing Protocol 17B in no way affects or changes Presidential Vote-Casting Protocol 17V.  Protocol 17V follows Dear Leader's beliefs about the importance of secure and legitimate voting, and the guidelines for citizen identification during voting are listed below:

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Thank you for your cooperation in this important matter.