Freeze, Or I'll Trim Your Bangs!

The Department of Homeland Security is obviously very concerned about public safety. This week, the DHS released a video entitled "Options For Consideration", meant to instruct the public on how to survive and even fight back during an active shooter situation.  It's quite remarkable.....

Let's take a closer look at this video's message....

"In most cases, there is no pattern or method to their selection of victims"

This of course is patently false.  There is an easily discernible pattern to active shooter situations....they almost always occur in areas where responsible citizens are prohibited from carrying defensive firearms, ie "Gun-Free Zones".  I prefer the more accurate "Target-Rich Environments".

"you might consider trying to overpower the shooter with whatever means are available"

As the narrator intones these words in his best "I'm from the government and I'm here to help" voice, the video shows someone reaching into their waistband to draw their defensive handgun....no wait, that's not right.  It actually shows the individual reaching into a desk drawer and pulling out........scissors.   Freeze scumbag, or I'll trim your bangs!  

"officers may arrive in teams, with tactical equipment such as vests, helmets, and rifles.

You know, all the stuff they don't want YOU to have to defend yourself.

Here's the kicker, on June 7 of last year, the DHS released a Request for Proposal (RFP) to purchase 7,000 "personal defense weapons suitable for close quarters".  After watching their video, I assumed the RFP was for a buttload of pinking shears.  Not exactly.  

What the DHS really wants is 7,000 select-fire rifles chambered in 5.56 NATO caliber, and capable of utilizing 30 round magazines.  Why, that sounds like the very weapons that the federal government doesn't want you and I to own.  There is one big difference..... the phrase "select-fire".  Select-fire rifles allow the operator to choose between semi-automatic function (like civilian AR-15s) and fully automatic fire.  Confused?  Read this.  OK, let's review...

Bushmaster AR-15....a weapon of war

• Black rifles chambered in 5.56 NATO, capable of utilizing 30 round magazines, but NOT capable of automatic fire are "weapons of war" and must be kept out of the people's hands according to Dear Leader, Dianne Feinstein, and the rest of their merry band of gun control moonbats.

Personal Defense Weapons, suitable
for close quarters

• Black rifles chambered in 5.56 NATO, capable of utilizing 30 round magazines, and that ARE capable of automatic fire are "personal defense weapons suitable for close quarters" according to Janet Napolitano and the DHS.  

We live in strange and dangerous times.

Make Gun Ownership and Carry Mandatory!

Perhaps it is my Libertarian streak, but I'm not in favor of mandatory helmet laws for motorcyclists, or mandatory seat belt laws for motorists.  Under 18, no problem, let's make sure those children are protected. Adults should be able to make their own decisions about such things.  Don't get me wrong, I think if you ride/drive without such safety precautions you are making a mistake, but hey, the world needs organ donors.

What have we always been told about seat belt and helmet laws?  Over and over, nanny statists have justified such laws because of the cost to the public of people who don't wear seat belts and helmets.  You know, the medical costs, insurance premiums, blah blah blah.  Why should the taxpayer be on the hook because someone doesn't want to take basic precautions to protect themselves, right?

Well, what's good for the goose......Why not extend the libs own argument to gun ownership and carry?  I propose legislation be enacted requiring all adults who can currently legally purchase and own a handgun to do so immediately. Better yet, why doesn't the government issue a gun to all those citizens?  In addition, those adults will be required to carry said firearm with them at all times.

What happens now when some liberal anti-gun zealot gets raped in their home, or violently assaulted on the street?  Because they refuse to carry a defensive firearm, all they can really do is react when the crime is over.  They call 911, police officers are dispatched.  An ambulance and paramedics rush to the scene.  All of this requires tremendous expenditures of public monies.  Now you add in the man-hours logged by police investigating the crime, attorney fees/court costs if the perpetrator is apprehended, and ultimately the enormous costs of incarceration, and you end up with a financial boondoggle that even Dear Leader might cringe at.

Think of the tens of millions, maybe hundreds of millions of dollars that could be saved if we would just start whacking a few more criminals!  Even at today's inflated ammo prices, delivering a "brass verdict" on the street only costs a buck or two.  I haven't even mentioned the deterrent effect on future criminals that would undoubtedly result from this new policy.  Remember Jefferson's words..."An armed society is a polite society".

We will call this new legislation the SACSTW Firearms and Individual Responsibility Enactment, better known as FIRE!  Maybe instituting this new legislation nation-wide might be too much at first.  Let's test it out in the areas it is needed most, you know, like cities over 250,000 in population governed by a Democrat.  

As a responsible carrier of a defensive firearm, I am tired of my tax money going to clean up after those people who refuse to make a commitment to their personal safety.  If I have to be buckling my seat belt, then you better be packing your gun.  Alas, I am skeptical of the chances of FIRE passing Congress, after all that would require liberals to disregard one of their basic tenets.....hypocrisy.

Barack Obama- Gun Enthusiast!

It's sad actually.  The President of the United States has so little strength of character, so little integrity, that he will pander to anyone, even evil gun owners!  Has this man ever met a constituency he wouldn't debase himself for?

By now you have probably seen the excerpts from the New Republic interview with Dear Leader swirling around on Facebook.

New Republic:  Have you ever fired a gun?

Dear Leader:  "Yes, in fact, up at Camp David we do skeet shooting all the time."

New Republic:  The whole family?

Dear Leader:  "Not the girls.  But oftentimes guests of mine go up there.  And I have a profound 
                         respect for the traditions of hunting that trace back in this country for generations...."

That flashing light and wailing siren you are now experiencing is the official SACSTW BS-O-Meter sounding the alarm!  Look people, anytime a liberal statist says the words "respect" and "hunting" in the same sentence, you know you are being fed an enormous pile of kaka.  Repeat after me.....The Second Amendment has nothing, and I mean nothing, to do with hunting or any other type of sportshooting.  To imply otherwise is simply ignorance or prevarication.

Fortunately, a covert mission by members of SHEAL Team 2 has uncovered the rest of the interview, the part that New Republic didn't want you to see, the part that proves Dear Leader is lying about going shooting "all the time".

New Republic:  Have you ever fired a gun?

Dear Leader:  Yes, in fact, up at Camp David we do skeet shooting all the time.  The skeets are pretty numerous up there, and we always have a good time.  Of course, I believe in eating what you harvest....skeets are a little tough and gamey sometimes, but the Camp David chef fries them up real nice, and serves them with a red wine reduction that is to die for!

Need more proof?  You can find images of just about anything you want at Google Images.  You've seen lots of them here at SACSTW.  Pictures of hung-over polar bears, hot chicks with guns, half-naked Russian strongmen fly fishing, you name it.  Guess what you can't find?  A picture of Barack Obama skeet shooting.
Do a Google Images search for that phrase, and this is the closest you get.....

Maybe the pool was full of skeets.....

Monday Musings With The Crew

This week's edition of Monday Musings has it all....sex, violence, insanity..... and maybe, just maybe...my all time favorite video clip!  Here we go!

• We've all been there right?  Driving around with your significant other, and idle chitchat turns into a heated argument.  That's what happened in Florida recently to Yvonne Martinez and her boyfriend, Ricardo Davis.  Things escalated a little past the norm for these two however, and the discussion ended when Davis bit off his girl's left thumb and spit it out onto the floorboard of the car.  What kind of choppers must this guy have?  Yikes!

• Speaking of toothy creatures on the loose, 15,000 head of livestock from a South African farm escaped last week due to floodwaters from a nearby river.  Did I mention it was a crocodile farm?  A spokesman for the largest U.S. crocodile farm said this kind of thing could never happen to them because..."The Potomac will never rise far enough to threaten Capitol Hill".  

• Wrangler has introduced a line of jeans that contain moisturizers like apricot oil and shea butter in the fabric.  Reputed to reduce itchy dry skin during the winter, the "spa denim" jeans are available for women only at this time.  Wrangler is considering a men's line of the jeans, no word yet on whether they will be packaged together with a white tube sock.  

• This is Mikel Ruffinelli.   The Los Angeles woman was recently certified by the World Record Academy as having the world's largest hips.  All I can really say about this is the folks at the World Record Academy need to spend some more time at WalMart.  Ms. Ruffinelli is a bronze medalist at best.  

• More crocodile news....A Minnesota lawyer has had his law license suspended after he had a torrid affair with a woman he was representing in a divorce case.  Oh yeah, he also billed the woman for the time they spent having sex.  While his law license is suspended, Thomas Lowe plans to combine his two careers and see clients at the Bunny Ranch in Las Vegas. 

• And here it is, maybe my all time favorite video clip.....   All of us learned as youngsters that nature can be harsh and violent.  You know, watching the leopard drag down the gazelle on Wild Kingdom, or even seeing the neighbor's cat pluck a sparrow from a shrub.  All of us that is....except this guy...........

Somewhere....Lennie Small is screaming!

Remarkable Honesty From CBS- Dump The Constitution!

Hey, who ever said that mainstream media was disingenous and deceitful in their true objectives?  Well, I have, but I digress.  This morning on CBS's Sunday Morning show, the network pulled back the curtain on their disdain for our heritage.  Charles Osgood aired this video clip from a Georgetown Constitutional Law professor on how we would all be better off by dumping that nasty old Constitution....





Let me just ask one question here.....what the hell is with all these "Constitutional Law" professors who have utter disdain and contempt for the Constitution?  For crying out loud, we elected one President.....twice!  If you are writing a tuition check to Georgetown and your child is in Constitution 101 with Professor Seidman, how are you feeling right about now?

In Seidman's ludicrous commentary, he says we wouldn't want France or the United Nations governing us.  Umm, Lewie baby, you do realize that what keeps such things from happening is in fact, the Constitution right?

Maybe Seidman should pay a little more attention to that "just woke up under the overpass" facial hair of his, and leave my damn Constitution alone!

Wisdom And Idiocy In Wisconsin

An interesting component to the whole gun control/self defense/Second Amendment story these last few weeks has been the disparate voices coming from the law enforcement community.  Elected county sheriffs seem to be leading the charge when it comes to recognizing the right and even duty of private citizens to protect themselves.

Sheriff David Clarke of Milwaukee County, WI made news recently when he aired a radio ad asking his constituents to consider arming themselves for self-defense.  Here's the audio of the ad....

Predictably, this hefty dose of common sense was too much to swallow for the lefty moonbats that infest Wisconsin.  Roy Felber, president of the Milwaukee Deputy Sheriff's Association, said this about Clarke's ad....

"That doesn't sound too smart.  People have the right to defend themselves, but they don't have the right to take the law into their own hands."

Milwaukee mayor Tom Barrett piled on....

"Apparently, Sheriff David Clarke is auditioning for the next Dirty Harry movie..."

Not to be out-done by her fellow moonbats, Jeri Bonavia of the anti-gun lobbying group Wisconsin Anti-Violence Effort demanded an apology from Sheriff Clarke....

"I feel like this is such an irresponsible thing for our chief public safety officer of a county to do.  I think he owes this community an apology,  and if he really believes that he's not capable of providing for our public safety he should get a different job."

Quiz time.....
If you do as Sheriff Clarke suggests....that is obtain a firearm, train with it to become safe and proficient in its use, and then use it to defend yourself and your loved ones against a violent criminal invading your home, you are which of the following?

1. a vigilante
2. a Dirty Harry wannabe
3. irresponsible
4. all of the above

What we need most now is more wisdom from men like Sheriff Clarke, and less idiocy from dolts like Tom Barrett and Jeri Bonavia.  Want to learn a little more about Sheriff Clarke?  Read his bio here, and check out his blog here.

Babe, Put Down The M-16 And Make Me A Sammich!

In March of last year, Sahib and I announced the formation of our new political movement....White Heterosexual American Males Only, better known as WHAMO.  You can read the founding document of WHAMO here.  You may be wondering why you haven't heard much about WHAMO since then, and I am here today to tell you why.

Given that an organization such as WHAMO engenders incoherence, rage, and hissy fits in many liberals, Sahib and I decided that WHAMO's first order of business was the development of an elite security and counter-insurgency force.  For the last ten months, we have been in the planning and development phases of this project.  Now that SecDef Panetta has approved women in combat, the time has come to announce to the world the special-operations arm of WHAMO security.

This ultra-elite commando unit's official title is Security-Housecleaning-Erotica-Armaments-and Libations,......but they will be better know as.......the SHEALs.

I have authorized the SACSTW offical photographer to release some early training images from the first group of SHEALs to make it through the grueling program......

As you can see, the training regimen of the SHEALs is arduous and harsh, but the troops are holding up very well to this point.  Sahib and I have direct operational control over all SHEAL units, and have tasked the group with a specific set of duties....

• Provide security at all events attended by significant numbers of WHAMO members.  Includes but not limited to.....Super Bowl parties, poker tournaments, and fishing trips..  

• Provide executive protection services for the WHAMO command structure, particularly if WHAMO personnel are to be within 5 miles of any of the following people
• Debbie Wasserman-Schulz
• Barney Frank
• Nancy Pelosi
• Emanuel Cleaver

• SHEALs will be expected to maintain their own garrison, and the quarters of WHAMO officers, in a professional and tidy condition.  Quarters are subject to inspection by WHAMO officers at any time.

• SHEALs will at all times be garbed in one of the several WHAMO approved ensembles, examples of these may be seen above.

• SHEALs will be in charge of maintaining and protecting the WHAMO Armory, and will conduct live-fire exercises as their leaders see fit.

• SHEALs will be prepared at all times to provide themselves and the WHAMO command structure with emergency rations as needed for survival.  Such rations are to consist primarily of mixed drinks and sandwiches. 

It is anticipated that additional duties appropriate for SHEAL teams will be identified in the coming months.  Although SHEAL Teams 1 and 2 are near operational readiness, Sahib and I's work is never done.  We will soon embark on a nation-wide recruiting mission, seeking out only the best of the best to wear the uniform of the SHEALs.  Look for the official SHEAL recruiting poster at a car show, Hooters, or beach volleyball tournament near you!

Sneak Peek At Obama Inaugural Speech- Cavernous Trachea Strikes!

So there I was this weekend, driving down to the local shooting range to expend some precious metals.  I reached into my range bag for my peashooter, and flinched as my fingers brushed the envelope hidden in the bag.  My heart rate skyrocketed, my blood pressure entered the stratosphere, I may have even wet myself a little as two words echoed through my thoughts-   Cavernous Trachea!

I gingerly opened the envelope, and indeed, inside was the latest ultra-secret missive from SACSTW's anonymous source inside the Obama administration.  It had been many months since we last heard from Cavernous Trachea, and Sahib and I were concerned that he had taken up permanent residency in Fort Marcy Park.  Fears allayed, I unfolded the letter and began reading.......

Dear Sahib and Crew,
I have managed to smuggle out Dear Leader's outline for his Inaugural address on Monday.  I took the time to retype it for you as I was worried that the original blue crayon wouldn't show up well on SACSTW.........

Coronation Inaugural Address  

• Introduction
• probably should replace "my adoring subjects" with "my fellow Kenyans Americans"
• put out cigarette before taking podium
• in the name of the Prophet, don't forget to thank Michelle for her "love" and support
• don't forget to uncross fingers and toes from when you had to touch that religious book
• On the economy
• blame previous administration, no wait, the one before that
• Taxation
• remind subjects that the more money they turn over to my government, the more we can return to them, thereby stimulating the government economy to its greatest heights.
• sum up as "from each according to his abilities, to me according to my needs"
• introduce idea that it is time the top 75% start paying "their fair share"
• Unemployment
• remind subjects that unemployment benefits stimulate economic growth, at least that is what Nancy told me
• Guns
• gently tell subjects that they don't really need any mean, nasty guns to defend and protect themselves.  *Note-- when saying this, be sure not to accidentally glance at one of the hundreds of servants standing around with mean, nasty guns to defend and protect me
• introduce "Countdown to Zero" plan for magazine capacity limits  
• Foreign Policy
• ask Joe what this means
• In closing
• share some personal, folksy comments about upcoming vacation plans
• be sure to smile and wave while riding away on Stanley, save maniacal laughter until out of reach of microphones

I folded the letter back up and replaced it in its envelope.  Cavernous Trachea had once again come through for SACSTW, but at what cost?  How much longer can CT possibly bear the stress of being undercover?  How much longer before he/she is found out, and subjected to some sort of inhuman torture?  Godspeed Cavernous Trachea.  

Obama Voters Steal SACSTW Time Machine!

Jimmy Kimmel interviewed some Obama supporters on the street last night, asking them how they liked the inauguration of Barack Obama.  Predictably, they were all puppies and lollipops about Dear Leader.  One tiny little detail has escaped them though.....the inauguration hasn't happened yet.  It's on Monday.  Who knew there were so many time travelers walking the streets????

When Irish Eyes Are Lying......

About the only thing that could make me delay my post about Dear Leader's creepy gun gathering yesterday would be an opportunity to pile on Notre Dame.  So here we go....

Throughout the recently completed college football season, fans were subjected to a constant barrage of ManLie Teo blather.  Incidentally, the college football season ended with Notre Dame getting whipped like a rented leprechaun, but I digress.  Back to ManLie.

The legend of ManLie really started with reports that his grandmother and his girlfriend had incredibly passed away on the same day last September.  We all marveled at his courage and strength of character as he fought his way through heartbreak and despair to lead Notre Dame past Michigan State just a few days after  suffering such a personal calamity.  Yeah, not so much.

Teo's grandmother did indeed pass away as reported, certainly a difficult thing for anyone to deal with.  The girlfriend, Lennay Kekua, did not die as reported.  In fact, she did not even exist as reported.  On Dec. 26th, Teo informed his coaches that the story of his girlfriend was in fact a hoax perpetrated on him by persons unknown.  He claims the relationship was "online" and over the phone, and that he had been duped into believing that Kekua was a real person.

Here's the bottom line.....there are only 2 possiblities.  The first is that Teo is telling the truth, and was an unwitting victim of an elaborate and cruel hoax.  The second is that Teo is a lying scumbag, willing to do anything to bring attention to himself and his football team.  Maybe it's my cynical side, but I don't believe the first explanation for a minute.  If Teo is telling the truth, then his intellect is on par with, say, an overripe artichoke.  That begs the question....how the hell did he get into Notre Dame?  Haven't we been told all these years how rigorous the admission standards are in South Bend?  Wasn't that one of the excuses put forth by a long string of failed Irish coaches?  If ManLie can't see through the "fake online girlfriend" gag, then how is he going to decipher Peyton Manning's line of scrimmage shenanigans, or unravel the deception of Tom Brady's play action?

Mark my words.....at some point in the not to distant future, Teo will come clean.  He will admit to being complicit in the hoax, and beg forgiveness from the NFL, football fans, and Notre Dame alums.  Never fear though, after all this is only the second biggest lie to come out of the state of Hawaii in recent years.  But I digress......

Read the whole sordid story here at deadspin.

Inaugural Hypocrisy

Pastor Louie Giglio

Thanks to Reader Jill for pointing out the story of Pastor Louie Giglio, it's the latest in a remarkable string of hypocritical pronouncements from Dear Leader as he transforms the country into SecondTermica. In fact, the hypocrisy from the left is so Fast and Furious, I can hardly keep up with it. But I digress.

 The 54 year old Giglio is pastor at the Passion City Church in Atlanta. He was invited to give the benediction at Dear Leader's upcoming inaugural. The invitation was rescinded when some complained about a Giglio sermon some 20 years ago in which the pastor described homosexuality as "a sin", and asked his followers to "lovingly but firmly respond to the aggressive agenda" of gay activists.

Huh!  A Christian pastor who says in a sermon that homosexuality is a sin.  I wonder where he got that sort of bizarre notion?  Perhaps he read it somewhere.  But I digress.

Here is the official statement from the Presidential Inaugural Committee.....

"We were not aware of Pastor Giglio's past comments at the time of his selection, and they don't reflect our desire to celebrate the strength and diversity of our country at this inaugural.  Pastor Giglio was asked to deliver the benediction in large part because of his leadership in combating human trafficking around the world.  As we now work to select someone to deliver the benediction, we will ensure their beliefs reflect this administration's vision of inclusion and acceptance for all Americans."

As Jill duly noted, this administration's definition of "all Americans" is somewhat less than inclusive, as the millions of Christians who live by Biblical principles are apparently not welcome.

At least Obama is consistent when it comes to pastors, I mean he was determined to put Jeremiah Wright's foul diatribes front and center when he ran in 2008, and not brush them off as comments from years ago by someone he barely knows.  Oh no wait, it was the other way around with Pastor Wright.  Man, keeping up with the misdirection and prevarication from our President and his minions is taxing even to my significant intellect!

Dr. Lowrey delivers his
heartwarming words of
inclusion and acceptance.

In closing, let us fondly look back at the "inclusive" words from Dr. Joseph Lowrey's benediction on Inauguration Day, 2009.  White people, can't you just feel the love and acceptance from Dr. Lowrey in these touching words.......

"we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get in back, when brown can stick around, when yellow will be mellow, when the red man can get ahead man, and WHEN WHITE WILL EMBRACE WHAT IS RIGHT"  (emphasis mine)

Dr. Lowrey evidently feels that whites have not embraced what is right in the interim, as he told a 2012 campaign crowd in October that "all white people are going to hell".  But I digress.

Aren't Unintended Consequences Fun?

At least one segment of the economy is in absolute afterburner here in Secondtermica, the firearms industry.  One month after Newtown, as the nanny staters and progressive tyrants spool up their anti-gun crusade, guns and ammo are flying off shelves all across the country.  Prices going up, inventories going down, long waits for product, etc etc.  I went to my local range this past weekend to do a little practice shooting.  Inside the range was the typical "Employee of the Month" pictures on the wall.  The January frame held a lovely portrait of Senator Dianne Feinstein!

Not to be outdone, Senator Schumer (D-NY) came out Sunday to plead with retailers to voluntarily suspend sales of certain types of firearms pending further congressional action.




I am anxiously awaiting President Obama's urgent call to Ford and GM to suspend sales of all automobiles until Congress can decide what to do about the 30,000 deaths their products inflict on unsuspecting citizens each year.

Monday Musings With The Crew

Well, it's been another fun-filled week here in the United States of SecondTermica.

• Apparently flu season is in full swing around the nation, and some of the 57 states are reporting vaccine shortages.  Outgoing SecState Hillary Clinton has ripped the admnistration for the vaccine shortage, saying "They're more interested in tax cuts for the rich than for flu shots for everyone who needs them".  SecState nominee John Kerry chimed in, blasting the President by saying "If you can't get flu vaccines to Americans, how are you going to protect them against bioterrorism?  If you can't get flu vaccines to Americans, what kind of health care program are you running?".   Oh, wait a second.  Those quotes from Clinton and Kerry were from 2004, blaming the Bush Administration for flu vaccine shortages.  Sorry, my bad.  

• The crazy was running on high in my home state of Missouri last week.....   Paul Potter of Kirksville was charged with murdering a man and setting a fire to cover the crime.  Witnesses in the public housing development in Kirksville reported Potter throwing objects at them.  The objects were later identified as the detached arms of Potter's victim.  No word yet on how he managed to stab his victim to death and dismember him with an AR-15.  Wait, wait, wait,  now I'm being told that no guns were used in the commission of this crime!  Well then, move along folks, nothing to see here.  Please be sure to duck as the severed limbs whirl overhead.

Ya know, maybe these Sharia moonbats are
finally on to something.....

• Interesting developments in the Aceh province of Indonesia.  Sharia law was introduced to Aceh in 2009, and a new regulation based on Islamic law is being introduced.  Women will no longer be allowed to straddle motorcycles as that position accentuates a woman's curves.  Sidesaddle only ladies!  I'm sure this can somehow be traced back to the Republican's war on women.

• What the heck was Jodie Foster talking about??

• Didn't the Denver Broncos win an overtime playoff game last season with Tim Tebow at quarterback?  

• Here is my New Year's plea to all the lefty statists out there......Can we all just put our cards on the table?  Quit hiding behind bans of high-capacity magazines, Evil Black Rifles, smoking in bars, 32 oz sodas, blah blah blah.  I would have more respect for you if you would just come clean and tell the truth.  You want to ban private ownership of firearms, ban tobacco products, ban sugar, etc etc.  Then we can have a real nuts and bolts battle for the soul of this country.  Unfortunately, liberal tyrants are masters of incrementalism, gradually eroding both our liberty and the document that sustains it, slowly bleeding the personal responsibility from our collective pysche until we have no recourse other than to grovel at their feet for whatever pittance they deem us to deserve.  Yeah, I'm talking about you Mayor Bloomberg.  

• Do you know who Louie Giglio is?  I learned of his story in the past few days, thanks to our brilliant reader Jill.  Check back here tomorrow to read more about the latest escalation of Obama's remarkable hypocrisy.  

Hey Joe, Don't Let These Facts Get In The Way....

I'm guessing that Mighty Joe and his merry band of gun control wonks don't really care much about facts.  Anyway, here's some more.